Whether you are dealing with conflicts in various relationships or you simply wish to take your most important relationship to the next level, here is a power-packed two step formula to recreate the magic in your relationships!
Step #1: Realize you are at the Source of IT ALL in the relationship
This might be difficult to believe if you are stuck in blame or fault-finding mode (or in the reverse mode of being in guilt, blame or shame). The way out is to start observing your thoughts and reactions when something conflicting happens – observe how your brain is in “cooking” mode of mixing partially known facts and your misjudged opinions about those facts.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer says:
“As you think so shall you be! Since you cannot physically experience another person, you can only experience them in your mind.
Conclusion: All of the other people in your life are simply thoughts in your mind.
Not physical beings to you, but thoughts. Your relationships are all in how you think about the other people of your life. Your experience of all those people is only in your mind. Your feelings about your lovers come from your thoughts.
For example, they may in fact behave in ways that you find offensive. However, your relationship to them when they behave offensively is not determined by their behavior, it is determined only by how you choose to relate to that behavior.”
Most often than not, it is less about the other person and more about your own personality – your inner concoction of beliefs and attitudes. Ever wonder, why you keep attracting the same kind of seemingly “negative” people to your life?
The opportunity here is stop worrying about what the other person is doing or how the other person is behaving. Bring focus back to yourself. How are you reacting? What opinions are you forming? What conclusions are you making?
There is deeper spiritual meaning to SHIFTING the focus to yourself. Neale Donald Walsh says:
The first step in finding-creating-having the relationship of our dreams is to get clear with ourselves about the real reason to enter into a relationship to begin with. Our relationship with everything was designed as the perfect vehicle through which we might announce and declare, experience and express, fulfill and become the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we held about Who We Are. We cannot do this in a vaccuum. We can only do this in relationship to someone or something else. Therefore it could be said that, in a sense, all other people, places, and events exist so that we can create this experience of and for ourselves. Indeed, we call these people, places, and events into our lives for that precise reason.
There! It could not have been said more powerfully – the “other person” in the relationship is actually an opportunity for you to experience your GRANDEST SELF!
Finally, make a conscious effort to CHOOSE EXACTLY how you wish the relationship to shape-up and gather the courage to simply declare that to the other person.
It is as simple as that! Though, not necessarily, very easy. The access is to begin owning it all up. There is power in taking ownership of the situation and begin EXPLORING CREATIVELY how you could make a difference. This is brings us to the next step.
Step #2: Take Complete Responsibility to bring the transformation in the relationship
When you bring focus back to yourself, you will discover, sooner or later, how you have been at “The Source” of it all. With this access, you have the opportunity the recognize your own power and take responsibility to (re)create the magic in the relationship.
Werner Erhard says:
ONCE YOU LIVE IN THE CONTEXT OF YOU AND ME, IT IS INCUMBENT UPON YOU TO DETERMINE WHAT’S WANTED AND NEEDED.
DETERMINE IT YOURSELF AND THEN PROVIDE IT.
Just two steps, and you are done! The only question that remains is – Are YOU Ready for the Magic?